Heather Graham, the 55-year-old actress known for her roles in films like “Austin Powers,” recently opened up about her decision not to have children. In an interview, she confessed that she’s glad she never became a mother, at least most of the time. “I think I’ve had moments where I wondered: what would it have been like if I had a kid?
I guess I would say 80% of the time I feel glad I don’t have kids, and I feel free and really good about it, and maybe 20% of the time I wonder what would it be like. You just have to appreciate the life you have,” Graham shared. The actress, who wrote, directed, and starred in her latest movie, “Chosen Family,” spoke about the societal pressures placed on women regarding motherhood.
“I do think it’s awesome now that more women are expressing their desire to not have kids,” Graham said. “The culture says: ‘You need to have kids.’ But why? If you’re not being a people pleaser, what do you really want?”
Graham admitted that for much of her life, she was a “people pleaser.” It wasn’t until her 40s that she began prioritizing her own happiness and shifting her approach to life and relationships.
“I realized, no, actually I can just ask myself, ‘What do I want?’ and make myself happy,” she explained.
Heather Graham’s life choices reflections
The actress also opened up about her early career struggles and her decision to distance herself from her family.
When she was 17, her parents prevented her from accepting a role in the dark teen comedy “Heathers.” Soon after, Graham moved out of her parents’ house, seeking independence from what she described as a “very judgmental, authoritarian, parental, patriarchal structure.”
“My father’s really religious, and they were, especially my father, very critical of everything I was doing. It didn’t feel like a healthy dynamic,” Graham said. “I stopped talking to them and, I have to say, that was a huge relief.
I felt like, at that moment, my life opened up with a freedom. I didn’t need to please them.”
While Graham’s family has made attempts to reconnect over the years, she does not desire to rekindle the relationship. “There was an effort made, but it was always very judgmental,” she said.
“I just think we’re really different. They have a lot of great qualities—it’s just not a healthy dynamic for me.”
Graham’s candid reflections illustrate her journey toward self-discovery and contentment, challenging societal norms and emphasizing the importance of pursuing personal happiness. As she put it, “Before, I was more: ‘What do other people think?’ Now I’m just like, f— it.”
